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While violence of any type is taboo, many unions die for less dramatic reasons — of which the most common is boredom.
“Chances are you’ve been dating the guy for years and you know him very well.
Salma, a divorcee and single mother of twins, recalls a session with a court-appointed Mumbai relationship counsellor who “told me relocation was the leading cause among young couples these days”.
To many of an older generation, it seems almost irresponsibly frivolous to wreck a marriage because of a reluctance to relocate, but for today’s couples it’s a good enough reason.
Second marriages are no longer confined to men and women of a certain age.
Rather, a growing number of 30-somethings are tying, untying and re-tying the knot, as if they were in a matrimonial merry-go-round. “It is a process, not a trauma, and nearly all my friends who’ve split up are in other relationships.” Nishi herself barely stayed a year before walking out on a schizophrenic husband.
Her first marriage collapsed when her growing success bred insecurity in her spouse; his contribution to their life together and child-rearing was inadequate.
To hear that two generations later, many Indian men behave like their fathers, even when they have been raised by working women, is a shock. “Many of my girlfriends use dating apps like Tinder which let them decide whom they want to meet in their neighbourhood.” Reva mentions a friend, who met her American husband in Bandra on Tinder.
There’s mysecondmarriage.com, bandhan.com/female/remarriage and a dozen other sites thriving on the aspirations of the matrimonially wounded that believe ‘things are better the second time round’. In fact, India’s leading remarriage portals claim to have 5,000 to 10,000 new registrations every month thanks, in part, to soaring divorce rates among the 28 to 32 age group.“In her case, the family broke up the first marriage.